Happy or content?

The nook

As defined by Urban Dictionary as, “that oh so comfortable resting spot where a girl can nestle her head when lying with her boy.  It’s that little spot between his neck + shoulder where she finds comfort and security as she drifts off to sleep.”

Although I have shared a lot of my background, its a lot of emo and I feel like to get a true picture, I need to give additional info. As I age, I realize that there is so much more to life, and I want to live life, not sit on the side lines. This man and I are sexual twins. We are both adventurous, have great chemistry, and can never seem to get enough of each other. There is an undeniable heat to our relationship, one that I think people can see and feel when we are together. There is an energy that pulls us together which makes it difficult to be in the same room without brushing his arm or feeling his breath, or drinking in his scent. He gives me goosebumps on the inside at the mere sight of him.

There is a line between love and sex. I’m not saying you don’t love the person your having sex with, I’m saying that it isn’t necessary and that love is not based on sex. For a long time, we have talked about the various sexual adventures we want to try and like any other man I have ever met, a threesome is on his list. When he told me I did not gasp in horror, I’ve done it a couple times in the past, its not a big deal.

If you are considering adding a someone into the mix, make sure you do it for the right reasons, pure enjoyment.  If you are adding because there is something missing, you are looking to mend something, you feel pressure from the other person, there are other things innately wrong with the relationship.  No amount of sexual adventure will correct those issues.  While it may appear that there are things wrong in my relationship with Ares, I have to disagree.   He has stated that our love life is complicated.  That is an understatement.  It has nothing to do with our feelings towards each other, just the small snag that he is married to someone else, but hey, technically I still am too.

Ok, the emo stuff aside kinda, we were recently celebrating an anniversary of sorts.  Our intention was to go into town and attempt to pick up a third.  We have very high standards and not just anyone will do.  As Aphrodite, this is not a difficult task as I have accidentally picked up several woman over the last few months when he was not around.  I am just polite, friendly, caring, and very attractive.

Me, ”  Are you ok if I pick up when we are out tomorrow?  I’m not being weird just don’t want to ruin a special thing if that is what you are thinking.  Not that you think that because we don’t cuddle.  You do (cuddle) but I’m going with you don’t.  You like me in the nook.”

*Remember, he likes to say he has only one feeling.  Deep down he has all these emotions as well but boys mask it better.

Ares, ”  I am always down with you picking up,  A chick(s).  And I like your little body in the nook.  And I like that you’re usually naked.”

He came to me instead that next evening.  And yes there was a definitive amount of cuddling in the nook but also some really great sex.  The heartache comes when he needs to get up to go home.  I have a tendency to apologize when I feel like I overshare, put pressure on a situation.  This thing between us was supposed to be easy going, no pressure, sex on convenience. We often need to see each other for grounding and such.  We both know when that is, we can feel when the other is in need.  I’m sorry that I insist on words when I’m not even sure they really matter.  Isn’t it more important that you can feel it, who cares what words are said.  I want to be the most important person.  That comes from past baggage, the first two men that disappointed me.  I put pressure on him to make up for what two other men did to my heart.  I know it isn’t fair.  The dynamics of my relationship changed, not his.

Ares, (after I apologized for being a emotional pain), “It is fine.  And when two people are close one is always entitled to bring such things up.  Don’t apologize.  And you deserve more than you want.  Much more.  Don’t underestimate your worth.  Night lil sexy.  And you didn’t change anything, circumstances changed.  Just a fact of life.  These things happen.  We’ll figure our thing out eventually but whatever it brings we must continue to enjoy it on the way.”

 

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