Happy or content?


I have a friend, also married, that is like a brother to me.  I feel lucky to have him in my life as he provides grounding when I feel like I am on the edge.  We have had long conversations about the lack of faithfulness, for lack of a better term, in the majority of relationships.  I had my doubts when we initially discussed this topic.  Granted this was before I began any extracurricular activity yet the more I converse with others, and I’m not sure why but people tell me shit, no one is faithful.  Faithful, or the idea of it, is not realistic.  People talk about how their parents, grandparents, great grandparents were together for their entire lives.  They only lived until 40.  There was no internet, cell phones, nationwide travel.  You married someone from your town and stayed there, forever.  If either was unhappy, you did not have a whole lot of options for changing.  In our current age of technology, if you have a desire, you look that up and find what you are after.  That may sound incredibly cynical but we all are entitled to a bit of happiness, or at least fulfillment.  I only have about 100 years to live, with only 50-60 with the ability to have mind-blowing orgasms.  Why would I want to waste one moment of that life being sad?  Easy for me to say as I type these words, wait for my boyfriend to text me back after assuring his wife has gone to bed.

Back to my “brother”, he insists that no one is monogamous, or at least 90% of coupled people are always on the hunt, or have tasted the forbidden fruit of another.  After years of talking, watching, participating, I tend to agree with him.  People you least expect are unhappy, dissatisfied, and downright miserable.  These characteristics do not mean they are leaving their spouse or ever have the intention to do it.  They are looking for something, most of the time they cannot even describe what it is.  I am sick of hearing that it is all about the butterflies that people crave.  It’s not butterflies or newness, we all just want someone to want us.  They simple fact of knowing that there is someone that desires you, someone that only needs to think of your touch, your smell, your eyes looking back at them, and it’s enough to make them feel the blood rush through their body, their heart beat just a bit faster, the heat pulse through them.

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